"Your hands are always so warm, even in winter," she used to say. She would snuggle up close and put them on different parts of her body. I was in ecstasy.

But lately, they've been cold. Even on hot days, even when I blast the heat in my car and rub them up against the vents. They're freezing. I'm always shivering.

I miss it less and less. It doesn't seem like reality, like a part of me will always wonder how the Revolutionary War exactly went down. I'll never truly know if it was real or fake.

Most days, I don't think about it. I don't even get sad about it. I can have a conversation with her on AIM and not feel bad, not feel anything. I don't feel anything for her anymore.

The only thing I miss is the feeling itself, the feeling of being loved. I've forgotten what it is. I try to imagine myself back there and I get emotional and angry. I've forgotten much of what I'd learned.

This winter has been a long one, and I see no end in sight.

Because it's all gonna be alright. Right?

I mean, everything happens for a reason and it's all gonna be alright... right?

Shit happens, people lose jobs, they gain them, God has a plan and we're all gonna be alright. Right?

Right???

Just talking innocently. I couldn't make out a word, but I knew by the tones of their voices that flirting was going on. It was awful. I just stood there, paralyzed, trying to pay attention to the screen, but the not-so-hushed whispers of some skinny teen couple kept digging its claws into my brain. I couldn't concentrate.



I paid good money--$24 for me and Matt plus drinks--to be sitting in that goddamn movie theater. And those assholes had to just come along with their baseball bats and smash my night to pieces. They were ruining "Role Models" for me.



So I turned my head to the right, pressed my index finger up to my lips, and SHHHHHHHHHHHH'd very loudly. I shushed them. I made eye contact with the guy, and he looked at me like the worst cock-block ever. Which I was. Try to insert your cock somewhere else. Take the chick to the beach or a park, not a movie theater. Movies are made to be watched.



They promptly shut up. I looked forward, and Matthew asked, "Who'd you just shush?"



"The people to the right of us were talking."



"... You're an asshole."



"... It needed to be done. I have no regrets. Shut the fuck up."

1, The fact that the current Republican President, aka BUSH, has bent America over and hammered it Hustler-style for eight years. We were tired of lies and deception.

2, The economic meltdown. McCain should have been on top of it, instead of throwing out cop-out lines like "the fundamentals of our economy are strong." If he had chosen Romney as his running mate, he would have fared better. And his campaign-suspension reeked of desperation. In fact, a lot of moves he made reeked of desperation. Like his final SNL appearance.

3, SARAH PALIN. She's an idiot, she honestly didn't know much, and he couldn't even throw out a single fact that made it seem like he had faith in her to lead America in his absence. In the past week, her camp has even started talking shit about McCain, which shows the kind of in-fighting that would have existed in a McCain presidency. Again, if he had chosen Mitt, he would have had a better shot.

Elsewhere, he had the same problem that John Kerry had in 2004; he didn't stand for anything. The best Kerry could come up with was "I'm not Bush."

Similarly, not only was McCain saying "I'm not Bush", he was also saying "I'm not Obama" by the end of it. Obama did his best to keep the economy front and center. McCain really had nothing but bad shit about Obama to say. "He's gonna raise taxes!" "He's a terrorist!" "He's black!" ...it was all very well and nice, but what are YOU going to do that's so great? Every single person I've debated about Obama has failed to list one good thing about McCain; it was all negative things about Obama. I'm tired of hearing about all the "terrorist" ties he has.

Which brings me to my final point, shut the hell about sexism; there was far more racism present in this election. Sure, Sarah Palin got held under a microscope, and there was unnecessary attention paid to her wardrobe, and her pregnant unwed daughter, etc. But Obama's patriotism was called into question, he's been labeled a Marxist, terrorist, socialist, black supremacist... so many nasty, vile things. And no one bats an eye. Sure, Palin may dress expensively, but never once was she labeled a terrorist. If Obama was white, would the same labels be lobbed at him? I wonder.

In conclusion, I am proud to finally say "President Barack Obama." Good night.

There are no words. Just orgasms.